Daily Short Blog #6
“Should I be scared with labor and delivery?”, “What would happen during delivery?”, “Can I do the delivery?” These are some of the questions disturbing me every day, when I wake up in the morning, before sleeping or anytime of the day. It really muddles me making me scared about what will happen during childbirth. Are you feeling all the same?
Well, being anxious about giving birth is not uncommon. It’s a major life event and very complex process so let’s not be hard on ourselves for having these kind of feelings. Instead, let’s remember that we are not alone on this process, aside from our husband and relatives, the midwife will also be there to support and look after us.
Every mother on earth gave birth to a child except my mother, she gave birth to a legend.
Moreover, it’s an absolutely life-changing event for any woman, however, many suffer from an excessive fear of childbirth which negatively impacts their birthing experience – this is called Tokophobia.
According to my research, tokophobia is where women have an extreme fear of pregnancy that can lead them to avoid childbirth. The fear is paramount that it becomes paralyzing, terrifying, and becoming physically and emotionally debilitating. [mfn] Tokophobia: A dread of pregnancy – NCBI [/mfn]
Some reasons that may cause pregnant women to suffer such situation are:
- Hearing stories from other women who have been through traumatic births;
- Hormonal changes worsening the anxiety;
- Fears related to medical care such as lack of confidence on the healthcare provider that may lead to loss of control or death;
- Psychological factors such as low self-esteem, presence of traumatic memories, or other psychiatric disorders; and,
- Psychosocial factors such as being a single parent or a young parent.
A mother might give birth to a child, but before that, a child gives birth to a mother.
While, below are the specific reasons that makes pregnant women scared about childbirth. These as well are what I’m fearing for:
1. Fear of having a cesarean section.
A C-section is considered to be a major surgery. It is performed during extreme situations where the mom and/or baby’s health are compromised. It is usually done when the labor fails to progress, the baby cannot fit on the birth canal, when the baby is experiencing fetal distress or when the baby is in breech position. The chances of having C-section highly increases in those with gestational or type 2 diabetes, and/or suffer from obesity.
So if you end up having a C-section, just relax and know that it’s going to be okay! If you’ve chosen a skilled provider, then they must be doing the surgery because that is the safest way for you and your baby.
So, number one rule is to choose your healthcare provider or lying-in center very wisely and that you should trust them.
2. Fear of having a bowel movement during birth.
Well, there’s a fair chance that a little bit of poop will come out as you are pushing the baby out. Basically, pushing a baby out feels extremely the same as when you are excreting because same muscles are in use; you may not even realize that you poop during pushing. Don’t worry because the healthcare workers assisting with your delivery will be there to clean it up immediately. But if you poop, there is a high chance that you’re pushing effectively and that baby will come out soon!
A Birth Mother always puts the needs of her child above the wants of her heart.
3. Fear of having an episiotomy.
Episiotomy is an incision made in the perineum, which is the tissue between the vaginal opening and the anus, during childbirth. [mfn] Episiotomy: When it’s needed, when it’s not – Mayo Clinic [/mfn] Sometimes, the perineum fails to stretch during childbirth so doctors perform an episiotomy.
If you’re having your first baby, you will most likely tear a little bit down there. But don’t worry, if you require one, your OB will take care of the stitching. The wound also normally heals within six weeks. You may also do a sitz bath to speed up the healing process. [mfn] Sitz Bath: Uses, Procedure, and Risk Factors – Healthline [/mfn]
Just for our information, according to my research, there are 4 degrees of vaginal tear:
1st degree – least severe, only involving the skin of the perineum
2nd degree – involve the skin and muscles of the perineum
3rd degree – deeper tear into the muscle that surrounds the anus but not completely through
4th degree – most severe but extremely rare, the deepest tear that tears completely through the muscles of your anus
With most first-time moms, there will be a 2nd degree tear that requires some stitching. But nothing to worry because the doctor or midwife will do it immediately after delivery. Also, the stitches are dissolvable or absorbable so you don’t have to worry about having to take it out.
4. Fear of experiencing the pain itself.
As what I’ve heard from my mother, sister and friends, labor is a lot like really bad menstrual cramps. It is probably one of the most painful experiences you will go through.
Being in an overall good health can minimize the pain. In addition to that, exercise before and during pregnancy to strengthen your core, abdominal muscles and pelvic floor. These can help delivery easier and less painful. Moreover, having lots of support, taking the time to get educated and lots of positive energy in your room can make the process easier.
Being pregnant means every day is another day closer to meeting the other love of my life.
5. Fear of not arriving at the emergency room on time.
I’m wondering that when the time comes, will I be at my home or at work or will I be walking outside or driving. How if I’m driving stuck on a heavy traffic? It’s really bothering me a lot.
Labor often takes hours so it’s highly unlikely for you to give birth before arriving at the hospital especially when it’s your first born. So wherever you’re coming from at the start of your labor, stay calm, don’t panic, and make sure you and your partner have everything you need before you leave.
6. Fear of not getting an epidural when it’s too late.
An epidural provides anesthesia that creates a band of numbness from your bellybutton to your upper legs. It allows you to be awake and alert throughout labor. [mfn] Epidurals: Meaning and Side Effects of Anesthesia During Labor [/mfn] The need for an epidural happens quite a lot and it usually occurs to women giving birth to their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th babies but 1st time moms can have it as well.
It has been said that no epidural will be given at 7 centimeters of cervical dilation. Yet there’s no really an exact number of centimeters to tell you it’s too late to have one. It depends more on the situation.
If this event happens, when you’re not allowed to have an epidural, the best thing for you to do in the moment is accept the pain and trust everything will be okay!
A mother’s joy begins when new life is stirring inside… when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone.
7. Fear of the baby not fitting into the vagina.
It looks small on the outside, but it will definitely stretch. You might need an episiotomy but for sure, the baby can fit in there!
The real issue is, if it will fit your pelvic bone. There are women who cannot give birth vaginally due to a condition called cephalopelvic disproportion or CPD. It is a condition where the baby has trouble getting through the birth canal because of the size of the baby’s head, the baby’s position, or the size or shape of the mother’s pelvis. The baby’s head might be too large, or the mother’s pelvis might be too small, or both. It’s nearly impossible to diagnose CPD before labor unfortunately, but if you’re concerned about it, speak with your provider.
This condition is quite rare, but if you are concerned about your pelvis possibly being too small, you may labor without the use of an epidural, go into labor spontaneously or labor at home as long as possible.
Moreover, the baby’s head will change its shape. It will mold in a certain way to fit through the birth canal, and it’s totally normal.
So, should I be scared with labor and delivery?
Here’s an answer to my own question…
Well, yes it’s normal to be scared, it’s part of the whole maternity process, though it should not affect your birthing experience.
There are lots of things you can do to reduce your fears. You may talk with your family, friends and most importantly to your healthcare provider. Examine your fears and discuss it with them. Don’t keep these worries to yourself. Recognizing and processing fear prior to labor can make a difference, and if we know what you’re worried about we can help address it. It may make your pregnancy much easier and more enjoyable.
I trust in my ability to birth my baby.
Resources:
1. Tokophobia: A dread of pregnancy – NCBI
2. Episiotomy: When it’s needed, when it’s not – Mayo Clinic
3. Sitz Bath: Uses, Procedure, and Risk Factors – Healthline
4. Epidurals: Meaning and Side Effects of Anesthesia During Labor
5. What Causes Cephalopelvic Disproportion?
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