We spend so much of our lives taking care of other people, meeting deadlines, finishing responsibilities, paying bills, working, cleaning, cooking, and trying to keep everything together.

But somewhere in the middle of all that busyness, we sometimes forget one very important person:

ourselves.

Treating yourself is often misunderstood. Some people associate it with unnecessary spending, selfishness, or simply giving in to every desire. But treating yourself doesn’t have to mean buying something expensive or indulging in something extravagant.

A “treat” can simply mean giving yourself permission to enjoy something because you deserve a little happiness too.

It can be watching your favorite movie, taking a relaxing bath, getting a haircut, going for a walk, enjoying a cup of coffee, meeting a friend, taking a day off, buying something you’ve wanted for a long time, or simply sitting quietly and doing absolutely nothing.

Self-care is not a luxury reserved for people who have plenty of free time.

Sometimes, it is exactly what we need when life feels overwhelming.

Research and guidance from organizations such as the American Psychological Association and NHS emphasize the importance of healthy ways to manage stress, including enjoyable activities, exercise, relaxation, social connection, and making time for yourself.

So let’s talk about why treating yourself is not selfish—and why it can actually be an important part of taking care of yourself.

A Secret of Adulthood:
“If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself. Self-regard is never selfish.”

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What Does It Mean to Treat Yourself?

Treating yourself simply means intentionally doing something kind, enjoyable, relaxing, or meaningful for yourself.

It doesn’t have to cost money.

You could:

• Watch a movie you’ve been wanting to see
• Read a book
• Go for a walk
• Exercise
• Take a nap
• Have a relaxing bath
• Visit the salon
• Meet a friend for coffee
• Enjoy your favorite meal
• Buy yourself a small gift
• Take yourself somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit
• Spend a quiet afternoon doing absolutely nothing

The important part is that you’re giving yourself a moment to pause, breathe, and recharge.

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1. Self-Care Can Help You Manage Stress

One of the biggest reasons to treat yourself is simple: life can be stressful.

Work responsibilities, family obligations, financial concerns, relationships, and everyday problems can gradually leave us feeling exhausted.

Prolonged or chronic stress can affect both physical and psychological well-being and has been associated with problems such as sleep difficulties, muscle tension, anxiety, high blood pressure, and changes in immune function.

Taking time to do something enjoyable won’t magically eliminate every problem in your life, but it can give you a chance to step back and reset.

Sometimes, you don’t need to solve everything immediately.

Sometimes, you simply need to breathe.

Take a walk.

Watch a movie.

Listen to music.

Sit quietly.

Do something that makes you feel like yourself again.

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2. It Can Improve Your Mood

You don’t need an expensive vacation to make yourself feel better.

Small enjoyable activities can give you an emotional boost and help break up an otherwise difficult day.

The NHS recommends making time for enjoyable activities and notes that simple things such as meeting friends or taking a relaxing bath can contribute to emotional well-being.

Maybe it’s your favorite coffee.

Maybe it’s buying a small dessert.

Maybe it’s spending an hour watching your favorite series.

Maybe it’s going to the beach and simply listening to the waves.

Whatever makes you smile, allow yourself to enjoy it without automatically feeling guilty.

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3. Constant Deprivation Can Leave You Frustrated

Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean giving in to every temptation, but neither does it mean constantly denying yourself everything enjoyable.

For example, if you’re following a healthy eating plan, completely banning every food you love may make the process unnecessarily difficult and frustrating.

A healthy lifestyle needs to be sustainable.

The same principle applies to many other areas of life.

You can work hard and still rest.

You can save money and still occasionally enjoy something.

You can care for your family and still make time for yourself.

You can have responsibilities and still have fun.

Balance matters.

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4. Treating Yourself Can Help You Recharge

Think of yourself like a phone battery.

You can’t keep using it forever without charging it.

The same is true for us.

We need moments of rest and recovery so that we can continue functioning well.

Taking time away from stressful activities can help you return with a clearer mind and renewed energy. The APA specifically recommends activities such as exercise, adequate sleep, relaxation, and enjoyable activities as healthy ways to manage stress.

Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is stop for a while.

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5. It Reminds You That You Matter Too

This might be the most important reason.

When you’re constantly taking care of everyone else, you may unconsciously begin to believe that your needs aren’t important.

But they are.

Your feelings matter.

Your rest matters.

Your health matters.

Your happiness matters.

Taking care of yourself isn’t an indication that you don’t care about others.

In fact, looking after yourself can help you remain more present and available for the people and responsibilities that matter to you.

You can’t pour endlessly from an empty cup.

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6. It Encourages Healthy Self-Respect

There’s a difference between selfishness and self-respect.

Selfishness means disregarding other people’s needs for your own benefit.

Self-respect means recognizing that your own needs deserve attention too.

Taking a break when you’re exhausted is self-respect.

Going to the doctor for a check-up is self-respect.

Setting a healthy boundary is self-respect.

Getting enough sleep is self-respect.

Spending a little time doing something you love is self-respect.

You don’t have to earn your right to rest.

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7. It Can Help You Create Better Habits

Treating yourself doesn’t have to work against your goals.

In fact, it can sometimes make healthy habits easier to maintain.

For example, after completing a difficult week of work or sticking to an exercise routine, you might reward yourself with something enjoyable that doesn’t undermine your progress.

Maybe you:

• Watch your favorite movie
• Visit a new place
• Have a relaxing evening
• Get a massage
• Buy yourself a book
• Enjoy a favorite meal
• Spend time with people you love

The goal isn’t to create a cycle of “I suffered, therefore I deserve a reward.”

Instead, it’s about creating a lifestyle in which hard work, rest, enjoyment, and recovery can coexist.

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8. It Gives You Something to Look Forward To

Having something enjoyable planned can make a difficult week feel a little easier.

It might be something as simple as:

“Saturday morning, I’m going for coffee.”

Or:

“After work on Friday, I’m watching my favorite movie.”

Or:

“This weekend, I’m taking myself somewhere nice.”

Small moments of anticipation can make everyday life more enjoyable.

And not every good thing has to be a major event.

Sometimes, the little things are enough.

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9. You Don’t Always Need a Reason

This is something I really want to emphasize.

You don’t always need to say:

“I worked really hard, so I earned this.”

Sometimes you can simply say:

“I want this, and I enjoy it.”

That’s enough.

Of course, financial responsibility and healthy boundaries still matter. Treating yourself shouldn’t put you into debt or create unhealthy patterns.

But you don’t have to feel guilty every time you do something purely because it makes you happy.

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10. It Helps You Reconnect With Yourself

When life gets busy, we can forget what we actually enjoy.

We become workers.

Parents.

Partners.

Friends.

Caregivers.

Providers.

Employees.

But underneath all those roles is still you.

Treating yourself gives you an opportunity to reconnect with the person you are beyond your responsibilities.

What do you enjoy?

What makes you laugh?

What relaxes you?

What makes you feel alive?

These questions are worth asking from time to time.

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11. It Doesn’t Have to Be Expensive

This is perhaps the biggest misconception about treating yourself.

You don’t need a luxury hotel.

You don’t need an expensive shopping spree.

You don’t need a five-star restaurant.

You don’t even need to leave your house.

Try:

• Taking a long shower
• Making your favorite coffee
• Watching a movie
• Listening to music
• Reading
• Going for a walk
• Taking a nap
• Calling someone you love
• Sitting outside and enjoying the fresh air
• Doing a hobby
• Cooking your favorite meal

The goal isn’t to spend money.

The goal is to give yourself something that feels good and restorative.

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12. It Can Encourage You to Take Better Care of Your Health

Treating yourself can also mean doing things that protect your health.

A medical check-up is a treat.

A good night’s sleep is a treat.

Buying comfortable walking shoes is a treat.

Taking time to exercise is a treat.

Preparing nutritious food for yourself is a treat.

Going to the dentist is a treat.

These things may not sound exciting, but they’re investments in your future self.

Sometimes the best gift you can give yourself isn’t something wrapped in a box.

It’s better health.

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13. You Deserve Moments of Joy Even During Difficult Times

Life isn’t always going to be perfect.

There will be difficult seasons.

There will be disappointments.

There will be financial stress, work problems, family issues, uncertainty, and days when everything seems to go wrong.

That doesn’t mean you have to postpone every enjoyable moment until life becomes perfect.

Because honestly?

Life may never become completely perfect.

Finding small moments of joy during difficult seasons doesn’t mean you’re ignoring your problems.

It means you’re reminding yourself that difficult circumstances don’t have to take away every good moment.

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A Word From the Author

I hear you.

It isn’t always easy to prioritize yourself when life is busy.

There are always more urgent things to do.

Someone needs your attention.

Something needs to be cleaned.

A deadline needs to be met.

A bill needs to be paid.

A family member needs help.

And before you know it, another day has passed.

But somewhere in all of that, you need to remember yourself.

I don’t mean that we should become self-centered or irresponsible.

I simply mean that we shouldn’t completely disappear from our own lives.

Give yourself a little time.

Rest.

Laugh.

Go outside.

Enjoy something.

Take a break.

Ask for help when you need it.

The APA notes that healthy stress-management strategies can include enjoyable activities, exercise, relaxation, adequate sleep, and maintaining supportive relationships.

And sometimes, the simplest treat of all is just giving yourself permission to say:

“Today, I need a little time for me.”

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“Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
— Lucille Ball

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”
— Mark 12:31

I love this verse because it reminds us of something easy to overlook: loving others and loving yourself are not enemies.

Caring for yourself can help you understand what healthy care and compassion look like.

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Treating yourself isn’t about being extravagant.

It isn’t about spending money.

It isn’t about ignoring responsibilities.

And it certainly isn’t about putting yourself above everyone else.

It’s about recognizing that you are a person who needs care too.

Sometimes, we are incredibly good at giving.

We give our time.

We give our energy.

We give our money.

We give our attention.

We give our love.

And eventually, we wonder why we’re exhausted.

Perhaps the answer is that we forgot to give a little something back to ourselves.

So today, give yourself permission to do something nice.

Take a walk.

Watch the movie.

Have the coffee.

Buy the little thing you’ve been wanting.

Call a friend.

Take a nap.

Go to the salon.

Sit quietly.

Enjoy the sunset.

Do something that makes your heart happy.

And don’t feel guilty about it.

Because taking care of yourself isn’t a sign that you are selfish.

Sometimes, it is the very thing that allows you to keep showing up for the people and dreams you love.

Life will continue asking things from you.

So every once in a while, pause and ask yourself:

“What do I need today?”

Then, give yourself a little of it.

You deserve that, too. ❤️

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Sources

• https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/health
• https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/tips
• https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/tips-to-reduce-stress
• https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/how-to-be-happier
• https://dictionary.apa.org/self-care

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Originally Published: September 8, 2021
Updated: August 2026